


Why?

by thesongofdarkness



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode: s10e14 The Executioner's Song, One Shot, POV Dean Winchester, Season/Series 10, thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-01
Updated: 2015-03-01
Packaged: 2018-03-15 20:32:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3461075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesongofdarkness/pseuds/thesongofdarkness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the executioners song. Inspirations from when Dean said:<br/>"You know last week, when I said that I would go down swinging when the time came? I meant that I was at peace with that. I just didn't realize the time would come so soon, you know, like right now."<br/>Or just Dean love Sam but is afraid of telling him, these are his thoughts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why?

Why is the most important words so hard to say?  
Why is the words stuck in your throat time after time?  
Why can't you say them?  
Why can't you stop thinking about them?  
Why can't you stop wishing that you were braver?  
Why does it takes so much courage to say them?  
To say three simple words?  
The “I” is simple enough, it's when it comes to “love” that you can't speak and when you are supposed to say "you", then you just laugh and say something funny. Something normal. Like "porn" or “cheeseburger”, but it's not the same is it? It doesn't carry as much meaning as these three words.  
And you wish again and again that you were just a little bit braver, just a little bit more reckless.  
You wish to get the words out, so you finally could get them of your chest and then maybe if you were lucky get him to say them back.  
But it’s Sammy, it’s your fantastic little brother and how could someone like he love you?  
But you still wish, you still cross your fingers that you one day will be brave enough to say them.  
It seems like you have waited your whole life to tell him.  
Now they carry even more meaning cause you have proven them true, again and again.  
You have proven that you don’t want to spend time without him, that you doesn't want to live with anyone else, that you want it to be you two to the end of time.  
But to say it to him even of you don't know if you ever will see him again.  
That, that's to hard for you, you just can't do it, you just can't stand the look on his face, the disgust or the hopeless expression he will wear.  
But you still think that maybe just maybe he feels the same and maybe he will say the words back to you.  
But wouldn’t that just make it harder? If you would have to go in there and die after being told that he loved you?  
To know that you waited to the last second to say it.  
It’s just to risky, you can’t risk him hating you, you can’t risk it, you wouldn’t survive it.  
You can’t risk it so even if you die, it’s just better not knowing.


End file.
